Exclusive | The new non-negotiable that men look for before getting serious with a woman

Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I had to describe my dating life in 2024, I could sum it up in one word: situation.

Actually, to be fair, I can push it further back to 2023…ahhh, OK, AND 2022. How I love the days when you went on a couple of dates with a guy, then he sat you down, looked you deep in the eyes (or maybe shyly down) and formally asked you if you wanted to be his girlfriend.

Oh, the romantic awkwardness of it all. I miss those days.

Are mutual STD tests the new, unexpected code for commitment? Sherry Young – stock.adobe.com

So imagine my shock when I was sitting at lunch the other day, and my friend dropped a bombshell that stopped me mid-sip of my martini. She revealed that she had been dating a guy for a few weeks now, and he popped the question.

No, mind you that question—rather, a question that, in the modern age, is the equivalent of asking someone to be your girlfriend.

He asked her to get an STD test so they could start having sex without a condom.

My first thought: Eek!

My second: Is this what the meeting has come to?

It felt transactional, clinical and, let’s face it, a little unsexy. But after a second (okay, third) glass, I began to see the method behind the madness.

Jana Hocking misses the “old school” ways in which men would ask women to walk steadily. But she appreciates a new twist on the conversation. Jana Hocking

This was not just about health. It was a modern day love letter. Basically, he was saying, “I’m ready to stop sleeping with other people, and I want you to do the same.” (Well, actually, that’s exactly what he said.)

It’s the new, “weird” code for engagement.

In a world where we often have to fight a guy to put on a condom, or face the ridiculous “but I’m allergic to them” excuse, this man who asks his love interest to take a quick swab is in true enough. romantic… isn’t it?

I mean, one swipe of the dating app can lead to a nap faster than you can say “cold sores,” so we all probably need to be a little more on our game when it comes to testing.

This man is at the forefront, and he’s nothing short of revolutionary, folks. Revolutionary!

OK, OK – I’m getting carried away.

Intimacy and commitment can reach new levels with this single request. NDABCREATIVITY – stock.adobe.com

But here’s the kicker: she wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. In fact, she’s also seeing another guy who’s probably not boyfriend material, but oh my, can that man give her a freaking orgasm.

So the answer to “going steady” was No.but…

In the spirit of being safe—and because sudden curiosity got the better of her—she went and got one. We laughed as she revealed that it really is like that scene in *Sex and the City* when Samantha passes out in the doctor’s office while waiting for her results.

Suddenly, you find yourself scrolling through your dating history and freaking out. Been there, done that.

Anyway, I’m happy to report that she was clear.

Not so happy to report: She told him they were still wearing condoms while she took her time deciding if she wanted to get serious with him. At least she had the proper safe-sex manners.

A man asking his love interest to get a quick STD swab has some nuance to it. WavebreakMediaMicro – stock.adobe.com

However, asking someone for an STD test is a green flag wrapped in a latex-free bow. So I kind of love that this could be a trend – and a huge step forward for modern dating.

I mean, it’s not just about safer sex, though, we’re very much here for it. This conversation separates the men from the boys. Asking someone to be tested takes vulnerability, trust and—let’s be real—balls.

It’s the antidote to ghosting, bread-splitting, and all the other questionable behavior we’ve unfortunately normalized.

You could almost say it’s liability on steroids.

Look, I’ll admit it’s not the story you’d tell the grandkids. (“He lured me in with flowers and a lab request form!”)

But maybe it’s time to stop romanticizing relationships to the point of dysfunction.

Love is not just dinner with candles and butterflies; it’s also about the hard, unsexy conversations that pave the way for something real.

So if your guy pops the big new question, don’t roll your eyes or clutch your pearls.

SAY yes.

Go get tested together, have a celebratory drink afterwards and toast to responsibility, maturity and, dare I say it, a condom-free future.

Hocking says to embrace the difficult conversations to get to an even better place in your relationship. Jana Hocking

Because in 2024, this might just be the sexiest way to say, “I choose you.”

The dating world has truly been let down, but in this case, I’m here for it!

#Exclusive #nonnegotiable #men #woman
Image Source : nypost.com

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