Dear Abby: I got divorced 6 weeks ago – my new boyfriend is already talking about marriage

Dear ABBY: I recently ended an 18 year marriage that should have ended many years ago. As I decided to leave, I met the most wonderful man, “Winston”. He treats me like a queen – the polar opposite of my ex-husband.

My previous home was sold during the divorce proceedings and I took Winston up on his offer to move into an empty trailer on his property. We get along really well and I’m sorry we didn’t meet years ago and have a life together.

Winston is my best friend. He has been nothing but respectful since our meeting a year ago. We didn’t take our relationship to the next level until my divorce was finalized six weeks ago. I have been in the trailer for three months and I am very happy. He lives next door in a house with his sister. Neither she nor he ever married.

We have already talked about marriage. He would like us to get married in about six months. I was thinking of getting engaged for six months, simply because I need time to catch my breath and I’ve been through a lot with moving, changing my name, changing my address, etc. This has now caused a rift in our relationship.

I told Winston I thus I want to get married, but I haven’t been divorced for two months yet. I need more time to adjust to such a different, more normal relationship. Before, he told me “no pressure” and he knows I need time, so I was kind of embarrassed when he expressed his desire to take married in six months.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, do I? What should be my next step? I want a life with him, but I’m just not ready so soon. – BREATH RESTRICTION AT BIRTH

DEAR PAUSING: You are fresh from an unhappy marriage. You put Winston in a flashback. You need time to recover and figure out who you are before committing to another marriage. You stated that after telling Winston you had to take your time, it created a “rift.” This is a huge red flag and does not bode well for what a marriage with him would be like.

People are advised not to make important decisions for one YEAR after a traumatic event. compete. Meet Winston and his sister much better before you walk down the aisle. I am also advising you to find a place to live other than his trailer so he can learn to be independent again.

Dear ABBY: I am a lonely girl without many friends. I keep the friends I have close. One of them is now moving into another state. She said we would keep in touch and I would see her one more time before she left, but she doesn’t answer my calls or texts. She hasn’t even spoken to another friend. My mom says I should stop calling and she will answer when she can. What should I do? – THE ONLY FRIEND IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FRIEND: Your mother is a wise woman. There could be more than one reason why your friend hasn’t responded to your contact attempts. She may be busy. She may have separation anxiety, just like you. Or she may feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed. Listen to your mother and take a step back.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.